[lllllllllllllll]

the most hilarious email i've ever received. in my life.

Hi Ann, Hi , this is David, I met u in Macys dept. store a few days ago in Manhattan. Thank u for giving me advice of what i should purchase as a birthday gift for my married friend. I thought u were very pretty. I studied advertising design. I started a design company, but have not made any money with the company yet. I have a business partner in N.Y. My company name is Sciensun Inc. I designed 2 practical products and hope to sell them in tens of thousands of stores accross america. If they are successful i will sell them in all of Asia , Europe and USA and Latin America. I have more products on the drawing board for the future. I was born and raised in NY. I live in Elmhurst Queens now. Do u Have brothers and sisters ? I love dogs. I will definately buy a Golden Retriever or a German Shepherd puppy in the future. Do u have pets ? Do u like animals ? I like dolphins also and horses and girraffes, lions, tigers and salt water aquarium hobby. I paid to swim with a dolphin 4 years ago in Florida. They gave me a crippled dolphin , it swam with a limp fin. The dolphin had a fin cast on. I would like to try bull riding as a challenge to myself. I want to see if i can stay on the bull for more than 8 seconds. Bull riding is in Texas. What fun activities do u enjoy doing Chiara ? I like science alot. I like space, the universe, cosmos. I like cafes/lounges, amusement parks, bowling, play pool, motorboating. I don't have internet in my house. I use the library computer 1 time a week. Please call me 1 (---)730-4902 or e-mail me. Take Care David

[fndmybetterhalf]

ima chop some heads off

btw why arent you on AIM

[skeetinyonose]

Lover's quarrel?

Well, from this text, I like this guy. He likes golden retrievers. He's one with the cosmos, and he uses the library computer exactly once a week. This guy knows what he's doing. He's one step away from perfect. Is he Jewish?

[DUM]

Ann, hit him up he sounds like fun.

[lllllllllllllll]

no, he's middle-aged, chinese, and single! he looks like a family man, guys. that's why i even stayed to talk to this guy. there's a reason why middle-aged single men are middle-aged and single.

[wEstSidE]

i...don't...get it??? really what the fuck is this about? btw y bother bleepin da area code out? he says where he lives. how does he know your email address? you musth ave gine 2 him rite??

[DUM]

You know how crushed he will be next week when you don't respond?

[lllllllllllllll]

yeah
he may even go to the library twice next week

[Comma H]

I would like to try bull riding as a challenge to myself. I want to see if i can stay on the bull for more than 8 seconds. Bull riding is in Texas.

This is cute.

Just email him answering all of the questions as he wrote them, with the most unnatractive responses you can imagine.

[winq]

this is a pretty typical pick-up technique here. guys on trains/buses approach girls and have a small chat, get their cell # or email and proceed to spam something along the lines of that to the girl. life story, job, hobbies, aspirations.. ugh