[diamonds]

OMC is now OMG

[mizanation]

originally posted by onemancult i just want everyone to know that i just went back to the sale, since my job is a mere five blocks away, with my female coworker and using her as a cover i managed to get right into the middle of the fray. i totally affected a gay lilt to my voice in order to calm the savage beasts. you think crocodile hunter is raw? there were soft titties at less than arm's length away from my face, and i stared some right in the face. i'm talking excuse-me-miss-i'm-so-sorry-i-bumped-into-you-but-can-i-chew-on-the-angel-food-cake-like- firmness-of-your-bosom? i had all these ladies in the changing area thinking i was gay and not giving a fuck to strip down to their underwear in front of me, it was hilarious. gentlemen, bring a lady to the sale and get wild tarzan jungle gym homo with it- you'll have mental meat beat material for weeks. god punished me though, because as i left, i had to see an octegenarian in a pink grandma bra.

wow, are you serious? i wonder how far you can fake the gay thing. i mean at some point, they're going to catch on that you are not gay. you could possible, possibly, make an excuse for getting an erection. you could thinly veil groping and even some licking. but vaginal insertion, well, that's pretty tough to make an excuse for.

[onemancult]

no it aint.

"honey, let me thee how deep thith goeth! dammmnnnn girl, yo' puthyhole ith deep!"

EDIT: and yes i'm serious. to the point where i saw some women who were visibly uncomfortable as i walked by all of a sudden drop their shoulders- and their tops- once they heard me tell my coworker "sweetie, that furstenburg is fabulous!"

[wEstSidE]

i coudnt even keep a str8 face 4 dat shit...

[sleazie ninja number 47]

originally posted by wEstSidE i coudnt even keep a str8 face 4 dat shit...

U'D BE ALL LIKE, AY BAY BAY, YOU LIKE ZEBRA PRINT? WELL I DUN gOTgOT NO MORE ZEBRA PRINT FOR U BUT I gOT SOME HORSE DICK IN MY DRAWS IF U INESTED. ARE UR BREASTS LIKE FORREALZZ? CUZ DAMN THEY LOOKIN SO SUPPLE AND YUMMY. DEM BE TITTIES DAT I"D LIKE TO SPREAD MY NUT-ELLA ON...

[wEstSidE]

originally posted by sleazie ninja number 47 U'D BE ALL LIKE, AY BAY BAY, YOU LIKE ZEBRA PRINT? WELL I DUN gOTgOT NO MORE ZEBRA PRINT FOR U BUT I gOT SOME HORSE DICK IN MY DRAWS IF U INESTED. ARE UR BREASTS LIKE FORREALZZ? CUZ DAMN THEY LOOKIN SO SUPPLE AND YUMMY. DEM BE TITTIES DAT I"D LIKE TO SPREAD MY NUT-ELLA ON...

i'm usni dat picKup line if u dun mind.

[sleazie ninja number 47]

originally posted by wEstSidE i'm usni dat picKup line if u dun mind.

go for it mang. Currently, I'm working with "You could be a total fucking bitch to me, and I wouldnt mind."

[masuerte]

OH YEAH! It's almost 2 weeks away from the Barneys Santa Monica Hangar Sale! W00t!! Let the no-changing-room madness begin!

Why I can never get a SoCal sufu meet to occur during this time confounds me. Maybe now people will listen.

I found myself walking through the fray with my cell phone camera (trying to take pictures of dresses for my sister I swear...). The ladies were too wildly trying on shit to care because it was last day of sale. Anyways, I do see merit in OMC's faux ghey strategy.

ROFL at the superghey OMC story. I missed it the first time around.

[mellowbonsai]

whats with all these random threads that have risen from the dead and then stickied?

[onemancult]

they have one thing in common, and that is that i said something spectacularly funny in each of them. dont hate.